Hey, did you watch Judge Judy on Thursday? No? First of all, what the hell, because Judge Judith Sheindlinis a salty, problematic treasure and you should cherish every moment of 90s daytime TV detritus before she retires. Secondly, you missed a spiky-haired dude mumble his way through an explanation of Bitcoin while testifying.
On a show that thrives on petty criminality and outsized drama, this was an inevitable occurrence. Because, just like Judge Judy itself, those two things encapsulate a lot of what goes on in the world of Bitcoin pretty much every every day.
In the first of three cases to air on Thursday’s show, titled “Online Scammer?!”, the defendant stood accused of scamming another man out of a truck he purchased for $2,000 on an eBay clone the criminals set up. It’s really complicated, and there’s something about scammers using the defendant’s bank account to do their business, making him the victim, but the important part comes when the defendant explains Bitcoin to Sheindlin:
Sheindlin: How do you make a living?
Defendant: I make a living day trading Bitcoin, which is a decentralized digital currency. The only thing I can compare it to is internet cash.
The delivery is deadpan and practiced, which makes me think he’s probably had to do this once or twice before, likely to his parents, friends, and other close relations. In another seemingly well-rehearsed move, the defendant attempts to boost his credibility by noting his “outstanding reputation” as a Bitcoin trader.
Despite that reassuring statement, Sheindlin ruled in favour of the plaintiff, because the defendant didn’t have the documents to prove his bank account was used by scammers. I’m not totally sure how that works, but it makes for pretty good TV, so check out the segment below: