How to Make a Shitcoin

Editor’s note: This “How to make a Shitcoin” guide is completely satirical. In no way, shape, or form does Coin Central encourage you to go and create a shitcoin. There’s already enough of them in the market – we don’t need anymore.

How to make a Shitcoin

From quick cash grabs to flat out scams, it seems like everyone is taking advantage of the booming, yet unregulated, cryptocurrency market these days. So, why shouldn’t you? Making cryptocurrency isn’t just reserved for computer programmers and blockchain experts anymore. Nowadays, anyone can do it! Even you.

Although there’s plenty of platforms that make it ridiculously easy to make a coin, we’re going to use the Waves platform today. Let me be clear, though, Waves is not a shitcoin or a shit platform, and many of the coins created with Waves are legitimate. I cannot emphasize this enough. The Waves team is doing great things to make blockchain technology more accessible to the average joe. If you’re interested in learning more about the project, take a look at our Waves beginner’s guide.

That being said, you can create your very own coin on Waves in under 15 minutes for ~$10. It really is a gift and a curse of the platform.

Let’s get started.

Create a Waves account

First things first, head on over to the Waves Online Client. There are currently two available, but I recommend trying out the beta. For a beta, it’s easy to use and nearly bug-free.

After clicking “Get Started” choose an avatar and set a secure password. You can’t change your avatar later, so make sure you’re satisfied with your choice. I’m pleased to say I found one that looks just like me.

Once you’ve set-up your account, you’re given the option to back it up. If you’re going to be scamming thousands of people out of their money running a professional ICO, this is something you want to do. Write down your 15-word passphrase in a secret and secure location.

…Or put it on a sticky note next to your computer. Whatever works for you.

Regurgitate your passphrase, hit continue, and you’re all set! 

Well, almost. Waves has you confirm some fancy legalize before finally setting you free.

Don’t waste your time on reading the boring details, though – we’ve got a shitcoin to make. Just blindly click the checkboxes and hit “Confirm and Begin”. 

Fund your account

Now we’re in business. It costs 1 WAVE to create a coin on the platform. If you’re already a WAVES holder, great! You just need to sacrifice some of your potential gains for the shittier good.

If not, you’ll have to transfer some funds and trade for WAVES on their decentralized exchange. There are plenty of options on how to do this, but I recommend transferring either Bitcoin, Ethereum, Litecoin, or Zcash.

US dollar and Euro deposits are also available but require an approval process. This is a great option if you want to leave a paper trail for your scam ICO.

After transferring your funds, navigate to the exchange and trade them for at least one WAVE – the fee needed to create a coin.

Make your Shitcoin

Now, the fun begins. The WAVES platform does all the heavy lifting in creating your coin, but you’re still in control of a few of the characteristics – most importantly being the name.

You want to give your coin an exciting name. Have it represent the future or going to the moon. You can’t go wrong with something like Apollo or Quantum. 

Next, give your shitcoin some exciting description. Make sure you throw in plenty of buzzwords like “disruptive”, “immutable ledger”, and “blockchain 3.0” – because 2.0 was soooo 2017.

After that, set the number of total tokens. Really, when it comes to this, the more the merrier.

Say you want to raise $100 million. You can either sell 1 billion coins at $0.10 each or 1 million coins at $100 each. When that bad boy hits $10,000 and topples Bitcoin, you better believe you should’ve started at $0.10.

And think about it from the viewpoint of the people you’re scamming your ICO participants. Would you rather spend $10.00 to get 1/1000 of a coin or spend the same amount to get 100 coins? The answer is obvious.

You can also choose whether or not to make the coin reissuable or not. Honestly, just go with your gut on this one.

Lastly, decide on the number of decimal places your coin has. Google has a great random number generator to help you with this part.

To finish, click “Generate”, confirm your details, and voila! You’re now the owner of your very own shitcoin. Your job’s not done yet, though.

Shill, shill, shill

This may be the most important part. What good is a shitcoin if you don’t promote the hell out of it?

First, make a website on some drag-and-drop site builder like WordPress. Whatever you do, your primary background has to be some variation of this:

See the Pen Constellations by Mads Cordes (@Mobilpadde) on CodePen.

I can only imagine that’s what a real blockchain looks like.

Next, hit up every forum, subreddit, Facebook group, etc… possible and tell the world how your shitcoin is going to be the next Bitcoin. The more you say it, the truer it becomes. You’ve got to instill some FOMO in the people who’ll be “kicking themselves for missing out on this great opportunity.”

Anyone that tries to call you out is clearly just FUDing.

There’s a multitude of ways to collect contributions and distribute your coins for your ICO. You can put sell orders on the Waves DEX, work with a contractor to host it directly through your website, or just promise investors you’ll give ’em coins once they pay you. The choice is yours.

“But what about a whitepaper?” Great question…for a nerd. Nobody reads those anyway. If you really want one, just copy and paste parts from some of your favorites. All the cool kids are doing it.

And with that, you’ve got all you need to create your own shitcoin and run off with the funds a successful ICO.

Final Thoughts

This guide is meant to show just how easy it is to make a cryptocurrency. There are a lot of scams and BS out there. Please do your own research before making any financial decisions.

The BoochCoin ICO is running from now until March 9th.  All contributions will be donated to the St. Baldrick’s charity. If you’d like to participate and own BoochCoins (which are worth absolutely nothing), you should:

1. Set-up a Waves wallet for yourself.
2. Donate to St. Baldrick’s here.
3. Tweet or DM @TheRealBucci with your public Waves address
4. I’ll send over some coins

$1 donated = 100 BoochCoins (what a deal!)

Editor’s note: Again, BoochCoins have no value and CoinCentral is in no way, shape, or form supporting this token (or any token on our site, for that matter). These tokens were created as a part of this satirical article, and we cannot make this disclaimer any more clear that they are not a legitimate token, nor is this article investment advice. Damn it, Steven, you’ve really got me typing out this super long disclaimer because even though we’ve all made it completely clear you shouldn’t buy BoochCoins, you never know if someone will. 

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